Day 1: A newly-discovered song

I had a blog I was very proud of in 2010. I’ve been blogging in some form or another since 2003 (Caleida to LiveJournal to WordPress pipeline), but in college, I learned that my friend could host me through her site. She showed me how to code my own blog and use the mysterious WordPress dot org, the software itself as opposed to the blogging service, to write my posts. So I figured I should christen it somehow, and in the style of that time period, I selected a 30-day blogging challenge — one prompt per day for 30 days.

Now, that blog is long gone, but just enough has been archived that I was able to track down the original list of 30 prompts. So here we go. Here is that. Twelve years later, we’re blogging again.

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Day 1: A newly-discovered song

Me, the kid waking up from a dream
Realising his music is the worst he’s ever seen
And who cares if it was from when he was 15?
It deserves the same judgement
It deserves the same judgement

A few characteristics I value in a song:

1. Queer artist
2. Catchy tune, fun musical motifs, a joy to listen to regardless of its mood
3. Relatable lyrics, like, in-your-face, this-could-not-mean-anything-but-what-it-appears-to-mean, not-overly-poetic-or-abstract lyrics

Needless to say, we’re 3-for-3 with Sushi Soucy’s “Average.” The line that immediately follows the bridge, quoted above, goes “God, it’s so hard to be good for your age,” and if that’s not just growing up as a “gifted” kid whose brain is definitely working fine and no the adults in my life will not be taking questions or criticism at this time good day to you!, well.

I am definitely comfortable with no longer being the best. I am not sure yet if I am comfortable being average at the things I love doing, even though, like most people, I am. I don’t know why it matters, either. Maybe after 20+ years of playing flute, or 25+ years of writing, or anything else I can quantify as having spent more than half my life doing, I figure I should be better than I am.

Yes. This. All of this. Please stop perceiving me.